Are You RIGHT Where God Wants You?

I remember the day as if it was yesterday, a fairly warm day in February 2007.  The huge 18 wheeler moving truck pulled up to our house on Saddlecreek Drive in Douglasvile, Georgia to load up everything that belonged to our family.  After what seemed like hours of loading, they pulled away to begin their drive to deliver the contents to our new home in Kingwood, Texas.   

My husband, Barry had accepted a job transfer and so it was that we were leaving everything we had known our entire lives in our small town to begin our new adventure.  I was truly excited about what this new adventure would hold for us. So much so, that I remember my best friend, Kim, my brother, Britt, and my mom were all saddened with tears because of our impending move.  I didn’t cry and even felt guilty for not doing so because I knew I was going to miss them so very much.  At the time, I associated it with the fact that I was more excited about the adventure ahead than being sad about all that I was going to miss.  Little did I know what God was about to reveal to me. 

We loaded up with our sweet blonde haired third grade girl, her cat Oreo (who is no longer with us thanks to the coyote who roams Bear Branch each night) and her treasure box from her grandparents which now sits on the table in our entrance foyer.   We said our “see you laters” (not goodbyes) or so we thought and we were on our way. 

On April 27, just two short months after our move, I got the call that no one wants to receive - my mom had died suddenly that morning of a heart attack while she was getting ready for work.  Heartbroken doesn’t EVEN begin to describe how I felt.  In fact, as I have been writing this story, emotions have stirred within me and I can feel my heart in my throat. 

However, I am beyond confident in knowing Jesus holds my hand and orchestrated it all.  The night of her death, He sent her to me in the form of an angel with butterfly wings (her favorite) to comfort me and kiss me on my cheek.  Yes, it really happened.  Jesus loves me this I know. 

What I realized when I reflected upon our move and my mother’s death is that I didn’t shed tears upon leaving Georgia because God had equipped me, without even realizing it, with peace for this move.  He wanted me right here where I am.  He didn’t want me left with the visual memory of finding her in that condition.  He wanted me to spread my wings.  He wanted me to be loved even in loss by my God sent neighbor, Ms. Lani, who was my strength in time of need.  He wanted my little three family member unit to depend on each other like never before.  He wanted me to teach sixth grade girls at my church and love them like He loves me.  All of this has happened and so, so very much more, which I will share in future stories.  What a blessing it is to know that He had me in the palm of His hand all along. 

My mother’s piano sits in my formal living room with one of her hymnals open to display her favorite one, which is covered in her handwriting all over the page.  I tease my Hannah and tell her that when she leaves to go to college, my hobby will be to learn to play the piano like my mom.  Until then, I will forever love and adore her piano and that hymn with all my heart until I can learn to feel it with my fingers too.  His Eye is on the Sparrow and I know He Watches Me.