Starting at
my sixth month of pregnancy, we knew her name would be Hannah Lynn Bullard. She was
conceived even when the specialists told us it was very unlikely that it could
happen. She is our one and only child and she is our miracle. So how could we name her anything else but
Hannah, a child we had so prayed for just as Hannah prayed for a child she
named Samuel?
To my
stepdad, Gary, known as Poppy to his grandchildren, her name was
Hannahpooh from the moment she was born. Behind her beautiful smile and
somewhat tough exterior, she has a heart that she protects most of the
time. In her almost 16 years of life, I
have only witnessed her experience a truly heartbreaking cry on three
occasions: during the movies The Secret Life of Bees and Steel Magnolias and at Poppy’s funeral
during the Chris Rice song Untititled
Hymn when he sings the words “fly to Jesus and live”.
Poppy came
to live with us during the summer of 2012.
He had been fighting cancer for several years and came to Houston to undergo
surgery and radiation/chemo at MD Anderson Cancer Center. His surgery involved removing most of the
skin from his upper thigh area and grafting it on his facial cheek area and
throat to replace the skin removed with the tumor. This was scary for a teenage girl and Hannah
wasn’t sure how to process it. He didn’t
look the same after surgery, but we were hopeful….hopeful until he shared with
us that he did not want to undergo radiation or chemo. He said he was just tired and wanted to be
with Jesus and with Meme, my mom, who had passed away in 2007.
We were all
somewhat angry with him and just could not understand why he would not continue
to fight for his life at one of the best cancer centers anywhere. To our
disappointment, he decided that he wanted to go back home to Georgia and would
take what would come as it did. It
wasn’t long before the cancer was back with a vengeance, he was placed in
hospice and his life here on earth would end.
On the
plane ride to Georgia, Hannah took out her ipad and crafted these words, which
she so eloquently delivered at his funeral one year ago today.
“Poppy always had a lot of love. He was full of fun
and adventure. He was really just a big kid at heart. I remember one day in the
summer when Austin, Aubrey, and I had this bright idea to roll down Meme and
Poppy's big driveway in office chairs. Of course he was all for it! We had the
best time that day. Poppy knew how to have fun.
Poppy was also a man of God. I remember from the time I was born him reading to me from his Bible. Poppy loved the LORD and I always looked up to him for that. Poppy taught me to never be ashamed of what you believe.
When I came home from camp this summer and my mom told me he wasn't going to go through anymore treatments of radiation we were all upset with him, but Poppy knew his time to meet the LORD was coming near. Looking back, we shouldn't have gotten mad or upset with him because Philippians 1:23 says: “ I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.” Poppy didn't need to remain in the flesh on our account.
Seeing Poppy sick devastated me and my family. Anyone who saw him sick knew that he wasn't the same upbeat Poppy who loved to eat all of his southern foods. When I found out about him going to be with the
LORD I was sad of course, but then realized this was a celebration.
Ecclesiastes 3 says: "there is a time for everything and a season for
every activity under the heavens:
-a time to be born and a time to die
-a time to be silent and a time to speak
-a time to weep and a time to laugh
-a time to mourn and a time to dance"
Today I choose to dance.”
Poppy was also a man of God. I remember from the time I was born him reading to me from his Bible. Poppy loved the LORD and I always looked up to him for that. Poppy taught me to never be ashamed of what you believe.
When I came home from camp this summer and my mom told me he wasn't going to go through anymore treatments of radiation we were all upset with him, but Poppy knew his time to meet the LORD was coming near. Looking back, we shouldn't have gotten mad or upset with him because Philippians 1:23 says: “ I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.” Poppy didn't need to remain in the flesh on our account.
Seeing Poppy sick devastated me and my family. Anyone who saw him sick knew that he wasn't the same upbeat Poppy who loved to eat all of his southern foods.
-a time to be born and a time to die
-a time to be silent and a time to speak
-a time to weep and a time to laugh
-a time to mourn and a time to dance"
Today I choose to dance.”
We know
that you are dancing now too, Poppy, and that the scars on your thigh and face
are gone and your body is new. You were not a perfect man, but a man who
lived on this earth who experienced life, needed forgiveness - which you have
received, and who loved to have fun.
Hope you are pushing some little children in office chairs in Heaven,
Poppy. They will enjoy it as much as
your grandchildren did.
Thank you
for your love.
